To my FRIENDS who enjoy a glass of wine..
And those who don't and are always
seen with a bottle of water in their hand.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 litre of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
Found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of $hit..

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service.

********************

TH

Keeping the Spark in a relationship...

If you vote for Zuma, we will go to HEAVEN:
We HEAVEN got petrol, we HEAVEN got wek, we HEAVEN got cure for eds, we HEAVEN got lektriek, we HEAVEN got brite fewcha, we HEAVEN got decent roads, we HEAVEN got decent schools, we HEAVEN got brite poolise and trefic and we HEAVEN got decent hospitals and and we HEAVEN got no money.
YOU STILL WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN??!!!!!!!!!!!. Eish!

Dating in 1960

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960, and Fred had a date
with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
'Oh, come on in!' Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
'Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink?
Lemonade? Iced tea?'
'Iced tea, please,' Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
'So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?' she asked.
'Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach...'
'Peggy likes to screw, you know,' Mom informed him.
'Really?' Fred replied; eyebrows rose.
'Oh yes,' the mother continued, 'When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!'
'Is that so?' asked Fred, incredulous.
'Yes,' said the mother.
'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!'
'Well, thanks for the tip!' Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture, wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail.
She greeted Fred.
'Have fun, kids!' the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely dishevelled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.
'The Twist, Mom!' she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen.
'The bloody dance is called the Twist!'

Husband and wife had a tiff.
Wife called up her mum and said, “he fought with me again, I am coming to live with you”.
Mom said, “ No child, he must pay for his mistake, I am coming to stay with you.”

Gatiep en Maraai

Toe Gatiep nog by Primary skool was het hy een Friday middag besluit om die nuwe "James Bond" movie te gaan kyk…
Maar ou gatiep wou dit nie alleen gat kyk nie.
Gatiep run na die back fence en gil op ou kleine Maraai wat in haar sandpit sit en speel.

Gatiep fluit vir Maraaitjie

Gatiep: Hey Maraai kom watch die nuwe James Bond movie saam my toe? (Roep hy na haar)

Maraai maak of sy nie die jong snot-neus Gatiep hoor nie, haar ma het gesê sy moet hard-to-get speel!!!

Gatiep: MARAAI!!! Is jy doof? Wil djy nie die new James Bond Movie saam my kom watch nie, TOE PLEASE?

Maraai: Gatiep kan djy dan nie sien ek is besig nie? So djou MOER!!! Gan djy mar alleen.

Ou snot neus Gatiep vat toe, nou maar die pad alleen, koop vir hom 'n movie ticket, Popcorn, en gaan soek toe sy seat.

En so begin die preview, en na 15minutes, begin die movie:

James Bond, kyk ewe verluidelik na die fitse lyfie wat voor hom staal en sê:
"I want, what I want, when I want it!"

Ou Gatiep is so beindruk met die Opening Scene, hy spring op en run terug huis toe. By die voordeur in en by die agterdeur uit, en na die fence toe.

Gatiep: Hey Maraai! Maraai kom djy gou hier!!!

Maraaitjie kyk op met woede in haar oë...en stap na die fence toe.

Maraai: Wat soe djy Gatiep?

Gatiep kyk haar so verleidelik en sê"

I want, what I want, when I want it!

Araaitjie kyk hom skeef aan, ruk haar krimpeline rokkie reguit, stap haar voet en sê:

F*k djou Gatiep Adounis!!! You will get! What I've got! When I get it! OK!!!