This was just brought under my attention by Marius (BS Poster)

Seems there is a new "mad sheep disease' going about......




:reallysick:

Don't wash your hair with shampoo in the shower
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!
IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT WARNING TO US ALL!!!
Shampoo Warning!
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!
I use shampoo in the shower!
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and Printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,
"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Sunlight dish soap instead.
Its label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved!
If I don't answer your emails, I'll be in the shower!

I know it is in Afrikaans, so don't shoot me:

WAT KINDERS GELEER HET:
1. Wanneer jou Ma kwaad is vir jou Pa, moenie dat sy jou hare kam nie.
2. As jou suster jou slaan, moenie terug slaan nie, hulle vang altyd die tweede persoon.
3. Jy kan nie honde vertrou om jou kos op te pas nie.
4. Moenie nies terwyl iemand jou hare sny nie.
5. Jy kan nie ’n stukkie blomkool in jou glas melk wegsteek nie.
6. Die beste plek wanneer jy hartseer is, is op Ouma of Oupa se skoot.
7. Maak nie saak hoe jy die koeldrank meet nie, maar jou broer het altyd meer koeldrank as jy.
8. As daar lekker nagereg is moenie laaste by die bak uitkom nie.
9. Lekkergoed is geneig om jou eetlus weg te neem en jou boude te laat brand.
10. Honde en katte hou ook nie van ertjies nie.

WAT VOLWASSENES GELEER HET:
1. Om ’n tiener groot te maak is soos om jellie aan ’n boom vas te kap.
2. Jou ouers was reg toe hulle altyd gesê het, “Wag maar, jy sal verstaan as jy die dag kinders het.”
3. Middeljare is wanneer jy jou ontbytgraan kies vir die vesel en nie die plesier nie.
4. Jy kry jou kinders uit die huis maar nie uit jou sak nie.
5. Geduld is toe nie net ‘n woord nie, dis inspanning.
6. Kinders grootmaak is nie vir sussies nie.
7. Selektiewe doofheid is nie ’n fisiologiese gebrek nie maar ’n verdedigings-meganisme.
8. Mens wonder hoekom jou kinders jou ander helfte se humeur en geite geërf het.
9. Tieners beskryf die ouderdom tussen tien en geduld.
10. Ouers word “dommer” met elke generasie.

WAT DIE OUDERDOM ONS LEER:
1. Om oud te word, is verpligtend, om groot te word, is opsioneel.
2. Vergeet die gesondheidskosse, ek het al die preserveer middels nodig wat ek kan inkry !
3. Wanneer jy val, wonder jy wat jy nog alles kan doen terwyl jy daar onder lê, sodat dit minstens die moeite werd was.
4. Jy weet jy word ouer wanneer ’n skommelstoel jou dieselfde sensasie verskaf as wat ‘n “roller coaster” gedoen het jare gelede.
5. Dit is frustrerend wanneer jy al die antwoorde ken maar niemand doen die moeite om jou te vra nie.
6. Tyd mag miskien ’n wonderlike geneser wees maar dis ’n patetiese skoonheidskundige.
7. Wysheid is veronderstel om te kom met die grysheid, maar somtyds kom net die grysheid.
8. Jou sig verbeter met die ouderdom want jy hou die boek al verder weg van jou oë af.
9. Die enigste een wat jou gereeld wil sien is jou dokter.
10. Plooie maak nie seer nie.

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?



****************************

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.

Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.

I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,

but the computer still says he can't find it.



****************************

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.



****************************

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK…

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes…

Tech support: (Sigh) That means the keyboard is not plugged in.



****************************

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.



****************************

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.



****************************

Customer: I have a huge problem.

A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer,

but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!



****************************

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,

but how do I get the little circle around it?



****************************

A woman customer called the Canon helpdesk with a

problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?

Customer: No, my desk is next to the door,

but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle

next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.



****************************

Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control

and escape keys at the same time.

That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.

Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: 'P'... on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Where's my damn A. Braunshauseni










I think I need to get a tan before summer arrives





Did I use too much Eye Shadow?