"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated"

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement"

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve"

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind; either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you 've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

"Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, THAT'S the word!"

I have four extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel) who will be flying into South Africa so as to stage a Event at the Ellis Park Grounds next weekend, if anybody wants them.

Robbie is going to try to jump over 1,000 Malema supporters with a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer.

I failed a Health and Safety course at work today.
One of the questions was:
"In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"
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"F#ckin' large ones" was apparently the wrong answer!

FRIENDS are like panties...
Some crawl up your butt.
Some snap under pressure.
Some don't have the strength to hold you up.
Some get a little twisted.
Some are your favourite.
Some are holy. Some are cheap. Some are naughty.
And some actually cover your butt when you need them to.

A young lady decided to go and play a round of golf, but shortly after completing the 1st hole she was stung by a bee.

She walked angrily into the clubhouse and was greeted by the club pro who could see that see was distressed.

Pro: Goog morning. Is everything ok?

Lady: No, I just got stung by a bee!

Pro: Where did you get stung?

Lady: Between the 1st and second hole.

Pro: In that case you are definitely opening your legs to wide while swinging...

I made this one up myself-
Two mature male T's are on a park bench when a lovely mature female walks past. One MM says to the other "I'm gonna TAP that"!